If the eyes are the windows to the soul, it stands to reason that your porn tastes are the window to your sexuality. Yet, almost every self-identified straight woman I know, including myself, prefers lesbian to heterosexual porn—and we’re not alone. “Lesbian” was the most searched term among women on PornHub in 2019, and Founder and Director of female-focused porn website Sssh.com, Angie Rowntree, told me that data pulled from the platform revealed that most women are turned on by female-focused foreplay and cunnilingus.
But why, exactly, do so many self-identified “straight” women watch girl-on-girl porn? Why do we prefer this erotic content over content that depicts our real-life relationships and sexual experiences? And does watching lesbian porn suggest that we might want to explore our sexuality? I asked Rowntree and two other sexual wellness experts for their insight. Ahead, the most common reasons why so many “straight” women watch girl-on-girl porn and what it all means.
1. It’s less degrading than heterosexual porn
According to Sexologist for sexual wellness company Biird, Suzannah Weiss, most women find lesbian porn less degrading than heterosexual porn. She explained that most mainstream heterosexual porn centers solely on men’s pleasure. This tends to create a power imbalance between the male and female, and women are rarely shown enthusiastically consenting and experiencing genuine pleasure as a result.
Lesbian porn, in contrast, portrays equality. “They tend to find the portrayal of relationships is more equal and less based on one party dominating the other one,” Weiss told me. While many people are interested in domination and submission, it can feel more sexually empowering and liberating to watch porn that showcases women taking charge in the bedroom, whether that’s giving or receiving pleasure.
2. It emphasizes female pleasure
In juxtaposition to female-male erotic film, which largely focuses on pleasuring the man, girl-on-girl porn emphasizes female pleasure. Somatic Sex Educator, Kiana Reeves, told me that we’re often turned on by sensations of our own pleasure, and lesbian porn is all about pleasuring women. Watching another woman have her erogenous zones explored through a massage, being pleasured with a toy, or receiving oral sex is hotter because it’s more relatable—we know what those sensations feel like and can imagine ourselves receiving the same thing. Plus, lesbian porn pays attention to delicate and important areas like the clitoris that heterosexual porn often overlooks.
“Watching another woman have her erogenous zones explored through a massage, being pleasured with a toy, or receiving oral sex is hotter because it’s more relatable.”
“With women increasingly embracing their sexuality, they are naturally seeking out erotic content that focuses on their bodies, their pleasure, and their overall experience,” Rowntree said. Women need foreplay, and since this isn’t something most heterosexual films offer, watching lesbian content is the most logical solution. Girl-on-girl adult films don’t skip the good stuff like foreplay, sex toys, and lube and jump right to penetration. Instead, it focuses on taking things slow, exploring all the erogenous zones with the hands, mouth, and sex toys. It’s more sensual and gives us more ways of eliciting pleasure that we can try ourselves—ideas that go beyond our go-to moves in the bedroom.
3. It’s a nice escape
I think we can all agree that porn provides a nice escape from the real world. However, Reeves said that lesbian porn can take it a step further for some women. Not only does it let them tap into another side of themselves that they might be unable or unready to explore in reality, but it can also be a useful tool for embracing your sexuality after trauma. She explained that some women who have had negative sexual experiences with men might still identify as straight but prefer woman-on-woman porn. This is because it tends to be less triggering. It can help them prevent unwanted thoughts, memories, and traumas from surfacing while indulging in pleasure because it feels safer.
4. It’s less about the people and more about what’s happening
If you ask men what kind of porn they watch and why, they’ll likely tell you it’s because they find the performer hot, and that in turn makes what’s happening in the scene hot. If you ask a woman what kind of porn she watches and why, though, she’ll likely tell you it’s because of what’s going on in the scene—not necessarily who is in the scene. For example, Weiss explained that someone may enjoy watching a woman’s body being admired in a strip club because they have an exhibitionist side. In that case, they’re imagining themselves as the actual woman in the scene—they’re not admiring the woman in it.
“Watching lesbian porn as a straight woman might simply be a way to escape, explore something new, or tap into unexplored kinks.”
So, you might prefer girl-on-girl scenes because you get off on being admired and caressed a certain way, or because you have fantasies about being with the same sex. Whatever the reason, it’s natural to watch porn that has dynamics and scenarios you’re attracted to and turned on by.
5. Sexuality isn’t black-and-white
Lastly, sexuality isn’t black-and-white. This is true even if you’re in a heterosexual relationship. There is no right or wrong way to experience pleasure, so long as you’re doing it safely and healthily.
Of course, none of this is to say that watching girl-on-girl porn while identifying as “straight” doesn’t suggest you want to explore your sexuality—because it absolutely can. “For many people, exploring lesbian porn is their first ‘experience’ of same-sex partnership and can open their eyes to what this looks like,” Reeves said. Alternatively, watching lesbian porn as a straight woman might simply be a way to escape, explore something new, or tap into unexplored kinks. “It’s normal and natural to explore your own sexuality in this way,” Reeves emphasized.
When it comes down to it, we all experience pleasure in our own unique way. And if watching lesbian porn helps get you off, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Besides, it’s a fun way to explore your sexuality and sexual fantasies. It’s all part of the sexual wellness journey.
MEET THE EXPERT
Suzannah Weiss
Suzannah Weiss is a Sex and Love Coach, author of Subjectified: Becoming a Sexual Subject, and Resident Sexologist for Biird, a female-led, pleasure positive brand. She has written for publications such as The New York Times, The Washington Post, and New York Magazine, and worked as an editor at Teen Vogue. Weiss also holds a Master of Professional Studies in Sexual Health, as well as a Bachelor of Science in Cognitive Neuroscience and a Bachelor of Arts in Gender & Sexuality Studies and Modern Culture & Media.
MEET THE AUTHOR
Kiana Reeves
Kiana Reeves is a Somatic Sex Educator, AASECT Member, Certified Sexological Bodyworker, Pelvic Health Practitioner, Certified Doula, and Foria’s Chief Education Officer and Resident Sex Expert with over 10 years’ experience in the field of wellness and female reproductive health. With a commitment to helping people feel more connected to their own bodies, especially as they age, Kiana harnesses her certifications and qualifications to help drive Foria’s content and brand education.
MEET THE EXPERT
Angie Rowntree
Angie Rowntree is the founder and director of Sssh.com, an award-winning ethical porn website made for women and couples. Since its inception in 1999, Rowntree’s female-led and female-focused content has pushed and still pushes boundaries as its purpose is to help women and couples alike explore pleasure that stimulates both the mind and the body. She was inducted into the Adult Video News Hall of Fame and has been profiled by a variety of major media outlets, including ABC’s Nightline, CNBC, Fox, Cosmopolitan, NPR, BBC, and TIME magazine.
